What's In A Name?

Fatso. Porky Pig. Gigantor. El Gordo. Jabba the Butt. Large Marge. Large and In Charge. The Incredible Bulk. Lard ass. But the most hurtful name (for me at least) – “Big Guy.” It’s a name I’ve lived with most of my life, but that still hurts more than ever as an adult and a professional. 

I’m only 5 feet 8 inches tall – give or take the tug of gravity on any given day – so I know they’re never referring to my vertical stature. The only thing “big” about me is my weight.  It definitely isn’t my influence over people (I can’t even get my dogs to listen to me.) It certainly isn’t my fame. So the only thing “big” about me has been my girth, my sheer physical bulk. And I hate that. I’ve always hated it. From as far back as grade school and shopping for new clothes at the local Sears store with my mom, having to ask for the “husky” sized blue jeans – to working at the prominent advertising agency where I was award-winning, senior creative making a six-figure income, having the elevator doors slide open and the President of the agency step in only to greet me with a hearty (and very loud) “How are you, BIG GUY?!?”

Absolutely, positively humiliating. And it happened virtually every time the man would see me. Whether or not my colleagues or clients were in the room or not. It made me want to shove him down the nearest open elevator shaft. Instead I just grinned and swallowed my pride. Then I swallowed a whole lot of whatever food I could scarf up later. And on and on went the vicious circle. The agency president wasn’t the only insensitive one who loved to call me that. Many people have done it on an almost daily basis. I think they think it’s somehow cute and endearing. It isn’t.

I would never, ever think to call a tall, underweight person, “Hey, bean pole!” Or “skin and bones” or “cadaver” even in private, much less in a public setting.

And so, after decades of gritting my teeth, making nice with the clowns who jokingly say it to my face (who knows what they’ve said behind my back?) I’ve done something about it. This blog is the ongoing account of what I’ve done and the ongoing changes I’m making so that – at long last – I will never have to hear anyone call me that awful name (or any of the others I listed above, for that matter) again.

God willing, someday in the not too distant future there will indeed be, "No more Mr. Big Guy."  Stay tuned.